I blinked and...

.......my baby is a kindergartner.  I'm not sure how this happened.  Just yesterday she was a little, wobbly, smiling, 11-month old whom I couldn't kiss enough.   Today is a big (well not so big), strong, smiling 5 year old (excuse me, 5 and HALF year old) whom I can't kiss enough.  

When we got home from China I had a job, although most of it was working from home so I was with her all the time.  Then six weeks later the company went out of business and I was REALLY with her all the time.  We navigated the days together, me learning to be a mom and her learning to let me be her mom.   Then she started preschool and yes that was hard but it was only 3 hours, 3 days a week.  Aidan had only been home a few months so it was a good time for him to get me all to himself. 

But now she's gone all day, five days a week.  I cried when I packed her lunch for her first day of kindergarten, realizing that for the past almost-five years we had eaten lunch together everyday.  I cried thinking about someone other than me being the adult face that she saw all day long.  I cried....well I cried a lot.  I was feeling a little silly after a point, I mean we have lots of friends whose kids are in daycare and they all do just fine.  But then those moms started calling telling me how much they have been crying too.  Even though their days wouldn't be much different, they were overwhelmed with tears. 

What is it about kindergarten that strikes mothers' hearts so powerfully?  I guess it's the symbolics of it all.  Emmy is no longer a baby/toddler/preschooler.  She is a big kid now.  She is has begun a phase of her life, schooling, that will last for many many years.  She will become more independent each day that she goes.  And even though she's always been ready to branch out on her own, I was nearby when she needed me.  Now I have to wait till she gets home to find out if all of her attempts to be a big kid went well, or if there were times when it didn't.  I'm still here when she needs me, it's just after the fact. 

But just so no one thinks that all I've done is wallow in my boo-hooing, at the end of the day I know that I am lucky beyond words that I get to have a kindergartner, that I get to watch her grow and mature even though it takes her further away from me.  What a blessing.

Emmy did GREAT, by the way!  She loves her school and other than the gift-of-gab, she's doing beautifully. 

And yes, I have finally stopped crying when I drop her off each day.  It took a while because it changed each day.  The first day I walked her to her class.  The second day I dropped her off at the door where a teacher greeted her and walked to her room.  Then about a week later, Emmy made the announcement - 'tomorrow morning I'm going to try walking to my class by myself'.   When we got to school I was very brave as I helped her put on her backpack!  Oh yeah, she was brave too.  She even had a moment where she said she was scared.  I told her I knew she could do it, but that she could change her mind.  She said she knew she could do it too.  So off she went through the door, into the big building, all by herself.  I watched her walk down the long hallway, that little body wearing that big backpack, surrounded by kids much bigger than she is and  yes I started to cry.  Aidan said, "Mommy why you sad?".  I said "I'm just missing Emmy a little bit", to which he replied, "Oh man, not again."

Okay, I'm done crying.  When a three year basically says - hey lady, get it together already, it's time to toughen up. 

Beatin' the Heat

Emmy and her friend Mia playing in the sprinkler.

Aidan jumping off the dock in Michigan.

Our favorite treat of the summer..Coke Icees.  Yum.

Swingin'.

Splash park near home.

Aidan and Natalie playing catch the bubble.  This is from our local FCC Summer Picnic.  Dave took his bubbleman equipment and made gigantic bubbles.  The kids loved it.

Lake Michigan.

New pool for our yards thanks to the Target end-of-summer clearance!

Ketchup...No wait Catch Up

We are living the life of jet-setters, always on the go, never knowing where we'll end up next. All this leaves little time for blogging.

Okay, okay maybe we're just tired from few things we do, jet-setting not included.

Here's some catching up pictures:

Aidan and I went to see and ride Thomas the Train with some of our best buddies. Here he is riding the rails.

Aidan has graduated to a toddler bed (I kept him in the crib till the last possible second!). He loves his Toy Story bed alot.


We went camping for Derby weekend and it was cold and flooded rain. But we still had fun.

Here's some more of the camping fun (the best part in my opinion).

Aidan and the boys in front of their equivalent of meeting Elvis.


Aidan inherited a Thomas the Train Trainset from Dave's aunt. He LOVES it! Emmy loves it too.

Shoot, even Dave and I like playing with it!

Our montly supper group has a total of 5 kids (with the 6th on the way home!). Here's the gang watching a video so the Moms and Dads can linger over dessert and wine and whine.

We went to Gatlinburg in early April with my family and had a great time. Here we are coming down the alpine slide.

Dave with Aidan in a vice-like grip riding the ski-lift.

Dave and Aidan resting their eyes in Gatlinburg.

Me and my peeps enjoying our favorite treat - a Coke Icee!

Easter morning and my kids are wearing Halloween pajamas.

Getting ready to attend the Semena Santa processional for Easter at a nearby Guatemalan church.

Deja Vu 2007 & 2010 - Cleaning House

First Day of Preschool Aug 2008/ Last Day of Preschool May 2010

Referral Anniversary - Boys Will Be Boys

Three years ago my cell phone rang as I sat outside and said to my neighbor, "What will I do if we get a boy?" I was telling her that we had not requested a boy or a girl for our next adoption but as I watched the boy from down the street knock over Emmy's tray of bubble-juice for the 3rd time, I wondered if I could raise a boy.

I grew up with sisters and even though I had a step-brother and lots of male friends as an adult, little boys were kind of a mystery.

So when I answered the phone right after expressing my worry and heard our contact at the adoption agency say, "Lisa, we have a little boy for you," I was in awe of the timing. And I am still in awe of my little boy.

Here's what I've learned about boys in the past two years, or at least what I've learned about my little boy:

- Little boys are kind of gross. Things like spitting, spaghetti sauce in the hair, boogers, syrup on your fingers are all things that boys think are kind of fun, especially if mama is yelling "No!" while you're playing with them.

- Little boys really don't have remorse or guilt. They're sorry they got caught, sad they're being punished. But truly sorry that they kicked their sister, pulled the dog's tail, or poked mama in the eye - not so much.

- Little boys like weapons. Aidan got a styrofoam sword for his birthday a few weeks ago. Whenever he's playing with it, he will come over to me, hold it to my head and say "cut, cut, cut" as he moves it back and forth. Should I be worried?

- When there is no blatant representation of a weapon, anything will serve that purpose. Even throwing a fluffy stuffed animal can cause damage.

- Little boys like bugs. Trying to get Aidan from the house to the car takes about ten times longer now that spring is here. He will notice tiniest ant and has to get down to look at it no matter how much I'm hollering to "hurry up!".

- Little boys have no sense of urgency. Hurrying is never a possibility. Come to think of it, little girls have no sense of urgency either.

- Little boys think farts are funny. Come to think of it, big boys think farts are funny too.

- Little boys have sweet little singing voices and love to sing sweet little songs. But when you get out the video camera to capture the moment they will only sing in their "dragon" voice.

- Little boys think Spiderman is awesome. When Aidan had only just turned 2 and wasn't saying many words, he saw Spiderman on a napkin and said "ooh, piderman." I have no idea how he even knew who Spiderman was, not to mention that was 3-syllable word - a big accomplishment at the time.

- Little boys can eat a lot. Aidan isn't a fast eater but he will continue eating for as long as I'll let him. He will even eat, have dessert, then return back to his regular food after the sugar.

- Little boys will wear a hat, preferably a baseball hat. Not sure if that's true for all little boys, or just the son of Dave.

- Little boys are very snugly when they are tired. Little boys move around like an octopus on speed when they are not tired.

- Little boys can do things like puzzles, sit still for a book, color or gently the pet the dog. But they'd rather not.

- Little boys cry when they hurt themselves just like little girls do, but the pain seems to go away a lot quicker and with a lot less medical equipment required.

- Little boys will always knock over the tray of bubble-juice. They can't resist it.

When we got Aidan's referral I called to tell one of our best friends the news. She, a mother to a now grown-up boy, said, "Well I'll tell you one thing, little boys sure love their mamas." I guess I did know what to do if we got a little boy, love every minute of it.

Here's the first picture I saw of my little boy.

Gotcha Day - 2 Years With Our Boy!

How much do I love this little guy? There is no way to express it with mere words. It has now been two years since he was handed to me by his amazing foster mother. Time has flown by. Some of it has been very hard and challenging. The rest has been as easy as pie. All of it has been just as it should be.

Two years ago

Now